Dear all of you lovely people,
I mentioned on twitter yesterday that I am taking a small break from my blog, and I wanted to write this letter to let you know why. Over the last few weeks I’ve been struggling to keep up with my own scheduling, and becoming quite stressed about having content to share with you all. Don’t get me wrong, I love my blog and I love meeting and talking to all of you. I get stressed about I because I love this hobby and want to share with you all.
As you all know, I do work full time and so I do sometimes struggle fitting in this hobby around the crazy working hours I have. For example, I could be working 12pm ‘til 10pm, or 4pm ‘til 1am, then have a day off, but be working the following day at 5.30am. I struggle to keep my body clock somewhat normal, and sometimes I get too tired to read before I go to bed, or I’ll find I’m not in the mood to pick up my laptop.
I really noticed how stressed I had become with my blog when I was on holiday. As some of you may know, when I have a week off work, I take that week off my blog too. A little blogger holiday, if you will. I try to use that time to read as much as I can and work on my blog, because I truly do love it. Last week, I was on holiday from work, but I also went on holiday to the Lake District with Stewart and my parents. I did take my laptop and a stack of books, but I only managed to get through one book and didn’t schedule any blog posts. I spent the week exploring the Lake District and spending time with my family. I spent the week feeling really guilty that I hadn’t done anything for my blog, and that worried me. I don’t want to feel guilty about a hobby, and then wind up resenting it.
Also, some of you may have seen on twitter, I lost a very important family member recently. My beautiful, happy, friendly cat, Harley, passed away on Monday. The week I was on holiday, Harley went missing for a few days. I know some cats tend to wander off, but this was very unlike Harley. He was always wandering in and out of the house, and always home at night. When my brother finally saw him on Wednesday, and brought him home, he realised that Harley wasn’t himself and was worried about him. Stewart and I drove back to my parent’s house on the Thursday to check on him and take him to the vets.
At the vets, they said he had a bit of a fever which could have been an infection. So he gave him some antibiotics and a pain killer, and said if he didn’t improve in 48 hours we needed to return him from a blood test. When we arrived back at my parent’s house, he seemed to perk up a little so we were happy to leave him with my brother and head back to the Lake District.
Once we returned on the Saturday, we made a detour to check on Harley. As soon as I walked in I instantly knew something was wrong. He was hiding behind the couch, and he wouldn’t lift his head when I approached him. This was very unlike him, he was the friendliest cat I’d ever met, and he’d always run over to say hello and paw at you for attention.
We took him immediately to the vets, and they took some blood samples. We knew Harley wasn’t eating properly so we took him back to my cottage to try and get him to eat properly and so we could keep a closer eye on him. We managed to get him to eat half a can of tuna that night, but he still seemed really weak, and wobbly on his legs. Even though he was poorly, he used the little energy he had to try and jump up on the couch next to me for a cuddle. I was hopeful about this, because it showed me he wanted to be around his family. The vets rang that night to explain that he had an inflamed pancreas, which they would have given him antibiotics for, and he had a week’s worth injection already, so we needed to again take him back in 48 hours if there were no signs of improvement.
However the next day, Harley deteriorated quickly. He wouldn’t eat or drink, he lost the use of his legs, and he started to crawl away to hide. Plus he was extremely grouchy, which as you know, is unlike him. We whisked him away to the emergency vet, who looked very concerned for him and they kept him for treatment.
Leaving him in that room was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, because deep-down I knew it wasn’t looking good. I cried all the way home, and I barely slept worrying about him. The vets rang that night and said that he was responding to his fluids and the pancreatitis was improving. Despite that, they were concerned about his legs and something with his eyes.
They’d explained he might have had some sort of head trauma whilst he was missing for those few days.
Unfortunately, Harley passed away the following morning. The vet explained that she thought he might have had a bad fall. Which lead to a slow bleed on his brain, and would explain why his symptoms came on progressively. As you can imagine, we are all truly devastated for this loss. His was such a big personality in the family and we’re all going to miss him terribly. He was only 5 years old.
Harley was like a little human, he’d always communicate in his own way and was very close with my dad. He’d follow him round like a little puppy, and watch him in the kitchen or in the garden. He was also a little mischief, and a little dare-devil. There are so many pictures of him climbing and balancing on silly things, like door frames or on the roof. I can’t convey to you all just how special he was, all of the people that met him have said the same. He was one in a million, and it won’t be the same without him.
I decided I needed to take a break from my blog, just for (I’m hoping) a couple of weeks. I will absolutely be back, because I don’t want to give this up forever. I need the time to grieve, and relax, and read for enjoyment again. I hope you all understand and I hope to see you all when I’m back. I’ll be chatting on twitter still, if you want to keep up with what I’m up to.
Thank you for reading this far, if you did. Sorry it was such a long letter. I hope you’re all well, and I’ll see you soon.